Using the back of a knife, gently smash and bruise the lemongrass to release the aromas. Slice crosswise into thin rings.
Heat the oil in a large pot over medium-high heat. Add the shallot, garlic, chili, and lemongrass and sauté until softened and aromatic, about 5 minutes.
Add the rice wine and bring to a boil.
Stir in the fish sauce and oyster sauce.
Add the clams and cover the pot. Steam until the clams have just opened, 5-8 minutes.
Uncover the pot, discarding any clams that have not opened, and add the peanuts. Toss to coat.
Transfer the clams and their juices to a serving platter. Garnish with fried shallots and cilantro and serve immediately.